The Simple Art of Breathing
by cherri0196
Summary: This is set between the time frame of Rose being pulled into the Parallel world with Pete, to the goodbye at Bad Wolf Bay. You've seen Rose's side of the story, now read The Doctor's.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: In 'Doomsday' we immediately see what happens after Rose was taken to the Parallel world, to her hearing The Doctor's voice and travelling to Bad Wolf Bay. However, there has to be at few months gap there in between. If Jackie is three months pregnant, we can conclude it has been at least 3 ½-4 months (linear time), assuming Jackie and Pete conceived the first time Jackie was ovulating….and I'm assuming Pete and Jackie didn't sleep together the first day and Jackie was conveniently ovulating. So I've factoring in a few extra weeks. What could the Doctor have been doing those long months? Find out Any feedback, reviews or concrit is greatly appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, including Doctor Who. Unfortunately. **

_Inhale in._

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

_Exhale out._

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

_Inhale in._

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

The cool contact of the hard white concrete lay beneath the thumping of my twin hearts.

I lay my head against the hard surface and listen to the rhythmic beating. I try to pretend that one of my beating hearts is hers. Pretend that I can hear her draw breath. Pretend that I can feel her presence somehow. That I can hear her. Just on the other side. Rose.

I run my palm along its surface.

_Inhale In._

_Exhale Out._

I've lost her. Let her slip through my fingers.

_Inhale In._

_Exhale Out._

This is what my vast Time Lord Brain has been reduced to; concentrating on the simple art of breathing.

I feel my frown deepen and I close my eyes. Only for a moment.

Only for a heartbeat.

Or two.

I push myself off the wall and dig my hands deep in my pockets. I take a good long look around what was Torchwood, not but hours ago, as I walk away from the wall. Away from Rose.

It's gone now. Torchwood. Hopefully forever. Everything in the room sucked into the void.

Along with everything else that has made me lose everything. Over and over again.

The Cybermen and the Daleks.

Metal clinking against metal as it's all sucked in.

_If only she could have held on for a few more seconds. The void would have closed and I would still have her._

_No. I mustn't think about that. I've got to get out of here,_ I think to myself.

I take one final deep breath and start down the never ending flight of stairs. Down, down, down.

_Maybe they'll just lead me straight into hell. _

They don't, but they lead me to a version of it. They lead me to an Earth where Rose Tyler does not exist. To an Earth where she is technically dead.

When I step outside of the building a cool breeze flows through my hair and I shiver slightly. I have no reservations in thinking it has anything to do with the weather.

I dig my hands deep in my pockets again and walk down the sidewalk, keeping my head down. I just need to get to my TARDIS and everything will be fine. I just need to get to my TARDIS.

I walk in circles. Not really paying attention to where I am going. I simply watch one red shoe take a step before a second red shoe follows. One foot in front of the other, hoping they'll somehow lead me to my TARDIS.

They don't and I have to lift my head to see where I'm at.

It's nowhere near my TARDIS. I can feel her, nestled in the back of my mind.

I turn around and start heading back the way I came. My body shudders again.

When I round the corner back near the Torchwood building I see her. All blue and standing tall. A stark contrast to this gray world that was neck deep in metal but an hour ago.

The Cybermen invading their homes and the Daleks invading their skies.

My footsteps increase, until I am practically jogging toward her. Toward my oldest and most faithful companion. My blue TARDIS.

I pull my key out and unlock her, and slam the door shut behind me.

I lean my back against the hard wood and slam the back of my head against the door.

_Inhale in._

_Exhale out._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Posting Chapter 2 tonight as well. Chapter 3 is mostly done; I still need to work on it though. If you guys like my story I will try to get it posted sooner rather than later.**

**P.S. It's hard writing from The Doctor's perspective! **

It doesn't matter now. She's safe, that's what matters. I have a job to do.

With that I push myself off the TARDIS door and make my way to the console.

I flip the metal switch upward, walk around to the other side and pull the lever out, and then go to the next quadrant over and spin the dial when I hear the wonderful, familiar sound of my TARDIS dematerializing.

_Round and round she goes…where she stops no one knows…._

I hold onto the handlebar while she spins me into oblivion.

When she starts materializing again I wonder where she's taken us to now.

I decide it doesn't matter and walk to the door and peek my head out.

It's definitely the surface of a planet. It's gray and dusty with high steel buildings in the distance, reaching toward the endless diamonds trapped in the velvet sea of black space.

_Ah. Must have drifted too close to the southern spiral arm of the galaxy. Get too close to that gravitational field and anyone is likely to land here._

The planet of Sontar.

It's strangely quiet. Usually the Sontarans are practicing military formations and drills.

I walk out of my TARDIS and lock the door behind me, kicking up dust in the process. Luckily this planet has a very similar oxygen field as Earth, even without the trees to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.

I walk along the surface toward the Sontaran version of a city, keeping an eye and ear out for movement.

Within a few steps something moves in the distance and I stop. Listening.

Nothing.

I move again, treading lightly.

The bullet whizzes by the head and I throw myself to the floor.

"Who's there?" demands a gruff and angry voice.

"I'm The Doctor. I'm not here to cause harm." I raise my hands above my head and start to stand back up, suit and hair full of gray dust.

A short, stumpy Sontaran, obviously young from the looks of him, comes toward me with a gun as big as he is pointed directly at my chest.

_Always with the guns this lot,_ I think to myself.

"Come with me" He commands and does a quick about-face and stomps off in the direction of the city.

I follow in step behind him, taking small strides so his stumpy legs can stay ahead of me. I try dusting off my suit and shaking the dust out of my hair.

"Where are we going?" I question.

"The prisoner will not talk"

"Oh, so I'm a prisoner now."

"The prisoner will not talk" The stumpy little man repeats.

I dig my hands in my pockets and follow without comment.

_Does he know? Does he know how easy it would be for me to plug up his little hole in the back of his helmet and leave? _

_A Sontaran with a shred of training and common sense would never turn their back on a threat. _

We walk across the dusty surface of the planet until we are in range of the tall steel buildings.

"Why do you have a gun that shoots normal human made bullets?" I ask. "Where is your ray gun?"

"The prisoner will not talk"

"You must be young, then." I continue. "How old are you? Still must be in training. No ray gun and you turn your back on me."

"I am training for glorious battle" The Sontaran confirms. "The prisoner will cease communication immediately."

"Alright, alright"

We walk through the dusty streets to a building that reaches into the sky the furthest.

We enter the lobby through automatic glass doors. I gaze up at the magnificent size of this building; there is no ceiling, just endless loops of stairs, going up, up, up around the circumference of the building.

The building is pretty scarce of life, considering its size.

"Haven't you lot ever heard of elevators?" I ask. "We're not walking up all those stairs are we?"

"We are going down to the cellars. The prisoner will cease communication or I will eliminate him."

I roll my eyes at this Sontaran in training.

_Eliminate. Delete. Exterminate. All the same thing._

He leads me through a small steel door off to the right of the lobby that anyone else could easily miss. Down a long, steep flight of stairs.

Deeper into the pit of the building we trek.

It gets colder and darker the further we descend.

The ground evens and he has to open another steel door from a key pad panel on the wall.

Once we enter, I see cell after cell, side by side, down the long corridor, with light fixtures hanging at regular intervals, only the bulbs are glowing green. We walk in and out of the soft green domes of light until he stops at a specific cell and unlocks it.

"In, prisoner. My superiors will be notified of your capture" He orders me in his gruff, harsh voice.

I step in my cell and comment "Well isn't this cozy?"

He shuts the heavy metal cell door and locks it behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you very much luv0817 for the review! I have decided to post Chapter 3 for you! I hope you like it! I'm trying to get a bit of adventure and mystery in here. Also I have introduced the "Gammarainians" (Pronounced: Gamma-rain-ian) in this chapter. This is solely my creation and is not a species in Doctor Who. **

**Disclaimer, I still do not own Doctor Who. **

I pace my cell.

_Not even a full Earth day has gone by without Rose and I am already imprisoned._ I think to myself.

I know technically I'm not imprisoned. I can get my good ole sonic screwdriver out and leave any time, but I need to find out what's going on here. Why aren't the Sontarans practicing their drills? Why are they sending young, inexperienced, scouts out to look for invaders? And why, by Sontaran standards, are they arming them with such inferior weaponry?

The answers were hopefully coming soon.

Minutes tick by, still I pace.

Finally the heavy steel door clinks open and I hear footsteps echoing down the hall.

I press my face against the bars to get a look at the lead Sontaran, followed closely by the young one that 'captured' me.

He's taller than the scout that found me, but not by much. His brownish greenish skin looks slightly more wrinkled too, but that's not what grabs my attention. It's his posture. His rigid being just screams authority.

"'Ello" I smile at the superior Sontaran. "Names, The Doctor, nice ter meet cha."

I extend my hand through the bars but he only looks at my floating hand in disdain.

"What are you doing on my planet, prisoner?" The elder Sontaran asks in an equally gruffy and rough voice.

"Oh you know." I stick my hands in my pockets and rock a bit on the balls of my feet. "Just visiting"

"Are you working for the Gamma quadrant of the southern spiral arm of the galaxy?" He questions.

"Why?" I question in return. "Are you planning an attack on the Gamma quadrant?"

"No, we are planning an allegiance. The Gammarainian species are a very advanced race. We share similar ideals in regard to the appropriate actions one must take on the battlefield."

"You mean the 'dying in glorious battle' ideals?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"It is what both our species crave above all else; a glorified and honorable death in the midst of battle."

"Okay, but if you all crave battle so much, why don't you fight each other?" I ask, trying to understand. "What possible purpose is there to form an allegiance? Who are you going to strike?"

"This is none of your concern, prisoner"

"Oh, it is very much my concern," I counter.

"Well this is top secret information. You will not access it through me or my young soldier here"

"Okay. So then what? Where are all your soldiers if you are unifying in a strike against an unspecified target?"

"My soldiers are where they need to be, prisoner."

"Okay." I add, trying to buy more time. "So your soldiers are missing at the moment and you are sending young scouts out on patrol with Earth technology loaded in their guns, why?"

"This is none of your concern, prisoner. You ask too many questions. I bid you adieu." And with that he turns on his heel and marches down the hall with his soldier in tow.

I lay down on my bunk, arms tucked behind my head waiting for closing time. I am certain they will have some sort of security all night, but it's better than trying to sneak around their base during the day.

The hours creep by slowly and I have nothing but the slow drip of water from pipes to keep me company.

The green lights finally click off and a soft flicker of yellow lights clicks on with a momentary buzz.

I get up and pace my cell for a few minutes longer, just in case.

I take my Sonic out of my inner coat pocket and point it at the cell lock. With a quick flash of blue light and a sonic buzz the door unlocks and swings slightly open on its hinges.

I creep out of my cell silently, trying to navigate in the semi-darkness.

I reach the steel door with the key pad on the other side. There is no key pad on this side. I point my sonic at it anyway and the doors lock pops out of place.

I squeeze out of the door and start making my way up the steep stairs, feeling the slight increase of warmth seeping through from the ground floor.

Another steel door at the top of the stairs, another quick zap from my sonic and I am back out in the lobby.

I press my back to the wall and slide along the surface quietly.

As I suspected there is a small security unit on duty.

I slowly inch my way along the wall toward the never ending stairs without notice.

Once I breach the first step I sprint up them, taking two at a time.

The first floor is nearly a quarter the way up the building.

I search each room on this floor as silently as possible. Each room is different, but only slightly. Most of the rooms are the equivalent of a research lab back on Earth.

Strange and oddly shaped animals line the wall in their glass cages.

Rows and rows of test tubes, microscopes, beakers, droppers, and specimens floating in jars.

Charts of bacteria, DNA strands and blood cell illustrations hang on the walls.

Computers line the wall in one room.

Charts and shelves upon shelves of books line the wall of another room.

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that this floor is solely for research and scientific advancements.

I make my way up to the second floor and start searching their rooms.

This floor seems to be their version of a hospital.

Cots and linen lay within these rooms.

Gauze, bandages, syringes, gloves in every color, and a wide assortment of stainless steel tools.

Scalpels and bags of miscellaneous fluids.

A lobby that looks like a waiting room.

Screens and charts and files on patients.

It makes my head spin and I know I have to start making my way back down to my cell soon.

I look out a window and try judging the time by the placement of the double moons in the atmosphere.

I should have time for one more floor.

I leave the hospital floor and head up to the third floor.

This floor seems to be the statistics and weaponry floor.

Door after door are plans for weaponry advancements.

Drawings of missiles and diagrams of weapons.

Tables with large scraps of paper lain across them.

Pencils and paint and oils lay in bins around the room.

It's almost like an art studio only they are creating destruction and not art.

Drawing upon drawing of weapons.

Drawings of weapons that have been crossed out and then re-drawn updated with modifications.

Illustrations of each piece of a certain weapon.

Prototypes being built.

One room even had Ingredients for explosives, including full barrels labeled "gun powder", and sticks of dynamite that probably shouldn't be in a building with other life forms.

Books on physics and aerodynamics are scattered here and there.

I peer out another window and the faintest hint of a rising sun peeks over the horizon.

I make my way back down the spiraling stairs, inch along the wall and through the lobby door. Down down down the stairs and back to my cell.

My head reels with all this new information.

Over the next few weeks I stay imprisoned. Each day gaining further Intel on what exactly was going on.

Each day I would subtly question the guards that brought me my meals. Each night I would sneak out and make my way further and further up the flight of stairs; searching new floors, making new discoveries.

Trying to piece together the puzzle that is right in front of me.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: HUGE THANK YOU to ****HFQ-LOS-KMS**** and ****luv0817**** for the reviews! I am posting Chapter 4 for you guys and working on finishing Chapter 5, which is pretty climatic. This Chapter is short and kindda leaves you with a cliffhanger, but I will post Chapter 5 by the weekend! **

**luv0817****- Yes, I love how The Doctor can leave his cell anytime he pleases like River! **

My beard itches.

I want a good shave, since they won't allow me razors, and a proper shower, not one these 5 minute showers with some all purpose shampoo/body wash.

I want my hair back the way it was; sticking up like a ruffled owl.

Now it lay flat against my forehead. Lifeless. No flair.

I can't complain too much though, they do wash my suit for me every other day.

I'm almost to the final floor too. All the way at the very top of the building. Only two more floors. Tonight's the night. Tonight I have to find what I'm looking for.

I perform my nightly ritual once the lights flicker to yellow. I shimmy out of my cell, up the stairs to the lobby and trek my way up the never ending flights of stairs, keeping my eyes peeled for security.

Up, up, up, until I reach the second to last floor.

There is a ceiling after all.

I search the rooms as I normally do. This floor is much like a school; blackboards and chalk and desks. Books and mineral samples. Chairs and planners and schedules.

Door after door of classrooms.

I leave this floor and head up to the final floor.

This seems to be a technological floor; computers and all sorts of gadgets lay within these rooms.

I sonic open the third to last door on the right and squeeze in. It seems to be a computer room, much like the other rooms; banks and banks of computers on long rows of desks. The walls are covered in maps, with different colored lines on them. Lists of names, military units, strike patterns, formations, and positions, on and on, information plastered everywhere.

I scan them, but they aren't going to give me much information if they are displayed like this for everyone to see.

I tip toe through the computer room to a door at the back. My sneakers squeak slightly on the hard linoleum floor.

The gold label on the door reads "commander's post".

This has to be a good sign.

I sonic the door open and squeeze inside, shutting the door behind me.

The room has a huge window, almost floor to ceiling, which bathes the whole room in a white glow from the double moons of Sontar.

Other than the window the room is all but empty. There are a couple filing cabinets, one desk, one chair and no computers to be seen.

I try to pull open a file drawer but it immediately falters. I use my sonic to unlock it and pull out a hand full of files.

Much of it is old paper work. Old wars. Old casualties. Old honors to those fallen to 'glorious battle'

Batch after batch of files.

Until I find it, buried in the more recent stack.

The top secret file I needed. The information on this allegiance with the Gammarainians.

I peruse this file carefully. Taking in every detail.

I can't believe my eyes. I can't believe what I'm reading.

It's a shame I'll have to wait until morning to confront the "Commander" Sontaran.

I tuck the top secret file in the waistband of my trousers, underneath my suit jacket and replace all the other files.

I leave everything the way it was, re-locking everything I've unlocked.

I make my way back down to my cell, again unnoticed and read through the file again and again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: As promised Chapter 5 is posted. The rest of the story is mostly done. Only two more chapters to go! I just have to finish editing and going over it. As always any concrit or reviews would be GREATLY appreciated!**

I must have dozed off.

I'm startled awake by my morning guard bringing me my breakfast. I have no interest in it. I need to get down to business.

I roll off my bunk, pull on the hem of my suit jacket as to straighten it before adjusting my tie.

"Listen, I need to speak with your commander in chief, it's important" I tell the guard.

"The prisoner will not talk," The young Sontaran replies.

"Oh not this again," I sigh exasperatedly. "You go get your supervisor now. You can't hold me here forever. I demand to know what I am imprisoned for and I want to speak with your commander. I have rights, you know. Even on the planet of Sontar."

The stumpy Sontaran regards me warily for a moment before adding "I'll see what I can do" and marching off back down the corridor.

My request is obviously not high priority, because it's not until hours later that the guard finally returns with the commander; the same ridged, straight backed Sontaran that spoke to me my first night of imprisonment.

"You again," He starts. "Causing more trouble I see."

"Listen," I interrupt. "I've been held here for months, I haven't been formally charged with anything and I would like to discuss the terms of my imprisonment with you in privacy."

The elder Sontaran whispers something to the younger guard and he leaves us in silence.

"He is guarding the door," The Sontaran commander says. "I don't trust you, stranger, but I have complied with your request, now we shall commence communication exchange on the charges of unlawful….."

"I know what you are doing," I interrupt again. "With the Gammarainian."

He does not speak.

"I know where your soldiers are and I am here to offer you a choice."

"What are you talking about, prisoner?" He asks affronted.

"I know you have sent your troops to the Gamma quadrant. That's why you have such scarce life here at your base. I know you have sent them to train the Gammarainians in return for their advancements in weaponry. Trading knowledge for power. This is why you are shooting human made bullets, you don't even have ray guns anymore, do you?!"

"Sir, I don't know where you got your information but I will not take orders from lower life forms, or be insulted by your disrespect."

"I'm not disrespecting you, commander. However, I cannot allow this to continue. You call all your troops back right now and I will leave you be, or I will be forced to take drastic measures."

He scoffs at me "Drastic measures! Like what? You are locked in a cage like an animal."

"Are you going to call your troops back or not, commander? I know you are targeting planet Earth and you should just know that they are under my protection." I breathe in trying to remain calm. I need my wits about me if this goes bad.

I slowly ease my sonic screwdriver out of my trouser pocket as he continues speaking.

"I will not pull my soldiers out. We have an agreement with the Gammarainians and I will not be the one to breach this negotiation."

"Well then," I start sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for this."

I train my sonic on the cell lock and with a metallic clank I smash the metal bars in the face of the commander before he even knows what's happening.

He is knocked to the ground with a nasty gash on his forehead.

I take off in a sprint down the corridor and sonic open the steel door at the end of the hall.

The poor inexperienced guard was taken by surprise and panics. He uses his long narrow gun as a make due blunt force object and attempts to swing it at me as opposed to shooting.

I duck and kick his legs out from under him, snatching his gun from him once he hits the floor.

I sprint up the steep steps to the second steel door that leads to the lobby.

That's when the red lights start flashing and a loud siren goes off.

As soon as I sonic open the lobby door there are three Sontarans coming at me that I have to dodge.

I elbow one in the face and push him into a second Sontaran as he spins. They both are knocked to the ground and I run for the door with the third Sontaran on my heels.

Once outside I spin quickly and point the gun directly at the Sontaran's head. "LISTEN TO ME!" I scream at him. He stops dead in his tracks as gray dust kicks up all around us.

"You need to evacuate your people right now," I try to reason with him. "Get them all out of the building right now!"

"We do not take orders from you, scum" He spits at me.

"Listen, I know what you are doing here, and I have to take this building down. You hold too much destruction in your hands. Get them out."

"You will not take down this building," He growls.

"Get them out! Get them out now!" I scream. "Or I swear I will blow this place up. The whole third floor is rigged with explosives and I will take it down!"

"Do what you must, destroyer. I will not succumb to you."

The anger and hatred burns in my chest like a searing venom. I hate that this one stubborn Sontaran is determining the fate of everyone else in that building. Not that I'm perfectly innocent in this regard, I've been solely responsible for making decisions that have affected others; whole races. I hate this self loathing that is always bubbling just under the surface and I hate that I have to do this, but I have no options.

"Fine" I hiss between my teeth. I recklessly aim the gun at the third floor, one eye squinted closed.

_Inhale In._

_Exhale out. _

Fire.

Nothing.

_Inhale In_, aim, _Exhale out_, fire.

With one loud bang the whole third floor explodes and shards of glass rain down upon us like birds of prey. I try coving my head from the hail storm of death and in my moment instinctive self protection the Sontaran attacks.

He tackles me to the ground and bits of glass cut into my flesh.

We struggle for the gun as the building explodes again and the whole ground quivers beneath us.

The Sontaran punches me right in the mouth with his metal clad fist and I instantly taste the metallic tang of blood.

I push him off of me, grab the gun and spit the blood out of my mouth as I try standing on shaky knees.

I pull the magazine out of the gun and cock the handle so the last bullet engaged in the chamber pops out and falls to the ground.

I throw the useless gun next to the fallen Sontaran.

The heat from the now inflamed building scorches my skin and I have to shield my eyes from the intensity of the flames.

"Come on, we have to run!" I shout at the Sontaran as he tries picking himself up off the dusty floor.

"I will not abandon my people!" He shouts back.

I back away from the building as another explosion rocks the ground beneath my feet.

So much destruction; the whole third floor is completely blown out and the four floors above the third are aflame.

_I told him! I told him to get them out,_ I think to myself. _This had to be done._

"I'm sorry" I shout to him one last time as I turn to run.

Away from this building. Away from the explosions. Away from the death and destruction.

The excruciating pain rips through my right thigh as a loud crack splits the air.

My steps falter and I trip face first onto the dusty ground.

_I have to keep moving. I have to keep going. I have to get back to my TARDIS._ I chant to myself in motivation to keep moving despite the pain shooting through my body with every step.

The blood starts seeping through my trousers and running down my leg, but I keep going. Running, running, running. Never ending running.

I pull my TARDIS key out of my jacket pocket when I see her, my TARDIS.

_Not much further now. Keep moving._

I violently shove the key in the lock and swing the door open before slamming it shut behind me.

My legs give out from under me and I am forced to sit, with my back sliding down the door as blood trails down my bearded chin and a small puddle of dark red starts forming around my leg.

The adrenaline that flooded my body, keeping me going, has been spent.

Now I feel dizzy and shaky and a cold sweat breaks out across my brow.

_I can't just sit here though. I have to get off this planet. _

I slowly ease my belt off and twist it around my leg like a tourniquet to stop the blood flow.

_I could heal myself, but I need to get this bullet out of my flesh first. _

_But, I'm so tired. Maybe after a quick rest. _

I feel my eyelids slip shut and my head fall forward_. _

_No,_ I tell myself._ No, get up. _

I pull myself up, putting most of my weight on my left leg and stagger slowly to the control panel.

The normal switch flipping should have been easy. Should have been instinctive, but each step just makes my head throb and the very real threat that I will pass out overcomes me.

Once everything is in its place and the wonderful sound of dematerializing fills the TARDIS I collapse onto the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank for very much again luv0817 for the review! I really really really appreciate it! I would have posted this sooner, but this has been an insanely busy week, so for your patience, I have decided to just post the last two chapters at the same time I hope you all have enjoyed this! **

Rose's face swims in my vision.

"Doctor," She says in that soft voice of hers. "Doctor, are you alright?"

"Rose?" I ask confused. "Aren't you in the parallel world with your family?"

"What are you on about, Doctor? I told you I wasn't going with them. You did it, the void closed just like you said, remember?"

I look around, but we aren't in Torchwood. It looks like we are lying in the same field as New New York. Well…. To be technical…. New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New York. Rose has pink flowers in her vibrant yellow hair. My Rose. My pink and yellow Rose.

The Grass is velvety soft and a perfect shade of green, and there are purple, pink, and yellow flowers growing all around us.

"Where are we, Rose?" I ask still trying to decipher what is going on.

"We're in New New York, I think," She wrinkles her forehead and bites her bottom lip. "But, I'm not sure. No flying cars this time."

I sit up and check my right leg. Everything is perfectly intact, as it should be. No pain. No explosions.

"Were we on the Planet of Sontar recently?" I ask again, feeling completely daft.

"No, Doctor. We came straight here after Torchwood. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine."

"You're so cute when you're confused," she says before leaning into me and pressing her soft lips to mine.

My vision blurs again and the edges of my vision go black.

"I love you, Doctor," Rose tells me as a pair of blue birds with lime green bellies fly overhead, chirping the most beautiful melody.

"….and I'm going to stay with you…." She continues in barely a whisper, like she is fading away.

"….Forever." I barely make out.

My head throbs agonizingly as I am pulled violently from my unconsciousness.

The cold, hard metal floor of the TARDIS greets me back to reality.

I don't know how long I have been lying there, on the TARDIS floor, as she steers herself around the whole of the universe unpiloted. Days, weeks, months, years, decades?

Who knows if I am even still in the same year as Rose, or the same reaches of space, or the same century, or millennia?

I groan as I push myself up into sitting position and my head throbs painfully again.

_I have to get this bullet out of my leg so I can heal myself._

Slowly I pull myself up and hobble pathetically down the corridor to the room that holds the extensive first aid kit.

I sit on the padded chair and remove the belt from my thigh so I can set to work.

I grab the medical scissors and cut a long slit in my trousers, exposing the bullet wound.

It's not pretty. The dark dried blood coats the wound and my make do tourniquet left a deep impression in my flesh.

I grab a bottle of iodine and pour the whole thing on the wound. I need to get it cleaned before I can remove the bullet.

I rummage through the kit until I find the syringe I need and plunge the needle into my thigh.

I inject lidocaine into my veins and my whole leg near instantly goes numb.

I sigh in relief as the pain ebbs away into nothingness.

I pull the long medical tweezers wrapped in sterile white and clear packaging from the kit and rip that open as well.

My hands shake slightly and I have to take a deep calming breath before continuing.

_Inhale In. _

_Exhale Out._

And I plunge the tweezers deep into my wound.

I clench my teeth as the sting shoots up my leg.

_Almost there. Come on._

_Inhale In._

_Exhale Out._

I hear the metal clink against the bullet and I pull the tweezers out, starting the flow of blood again, with the bullet firmly clamped in its tip.

I sigh and drop everything on the floor.

That feels much better.

I run my blood stained hands down my leg and allow my healing powers to flow. I slowly inch down my thigh, leaving behind soft intact skin in the wake of the bloody, pulpy skin that was there nanoseconds ago.

I lay my head back against the padded chair and close my eyes.

It's quiet.

Too quiet.

I don't like it. It makes me feel so alone.

But that's what I am. Always. Alone.

I'm just a lone traveler among the stars; adrift among the vastness of space, reminiscent of an ant floating adrift at Sea.

_I need to pull myself together. _

I open my eyes and look around the blood stained room, taking in my blood stained clothes and my blood stained body.

I need to clean myself up. I need to get it together. I can't afford to fall apart. I've already spent too much time on the planet of Sontar.

I pull myself up, feeling much better. Physically.

I amble down the corridor to the large bathroom down the hall.

I turn the taps on and pull my sonic screwdriver out of my coat pocket and put it to rest on the sink. I slowly peel off my sticky clothes as the room fills with steam.

I step in the warm spray and almost groan at the wonderful sensation.

All the grime, and dried blood, and now pasty gray dust that coat my body run down the drain, turning the water an almost purple color.

I scrub my body clean before washing my hair and rinsing all the frothy white bubbles down the drain.

I am finally able to shave.

It feels good.

I wash my hair and body again for good measure; turn the taps off and step out, feeling a bit like my old self again.

I dry my body off, and wrap the white towel around my waist.

I make my way to my limitless wardrobe and look for a duplicate suit. I have plenty in all sorts of colors and I know I have plenty of duplicates of my favorite one.

My brown one with baby blue pinstripes.

After some rummaging, I find one.

I get dressed, putting everything on the way it used to be. Right down to my red sneakers.

I head back into the vast bathroom. I stick my sonic back in the coat pocket of my new suit and wipe down the foggy mirror before brushing my teeth.

Now to add the final touch.

I comb the knots out of my hair, and use the tiniest bit of alien made "gel" to get my hair sticking back up.

There. Everything just like it used to be.

Only it's not.

Not at all.

I stick my hands in my trouser pockets and make my way back to the control room.

I walk slowly around the controls, wondering where we could be.

I enter a few codes on the keyboard to archive the old first aid room and replace it with a new, clean one.

I try to get our coordinates but the old TARDIS monitor goes fuzzy and lines run through it like an old T.V. that needs its bunny ears adjusted.

I smack the monitor and for a split second a picture comes in bright and clear before going snowy again.

I think my mind is playing tricks on me again, but I have to see if my TARDIS is showing me what I think she's showing me.

I walk around the console making adjustments, spinning the yellow sphere rolley ball three times and pumping the lever in and out like a trombone no more than twice.

I've expanded the oxygen field around the TARDIS.

I have to see this with my own eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

I run to the TARDIS door and yank it open.

That's when I see it, by pure happenstance, I see it; the tiniest crack in time and space; the smallest glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe I can see Rose just one last time. And conveniently it is located right near a supernova and conveniently I happened to be drifting by it, and conveniently my TARDIS was able to show it to me in time. Fate can be as wonderful as she is twisted sometimes.

I slam the TARDIS door shut with a little more velocity than is necessary in my excitement.

I run around and around the TARDIS control panel, trying to get her in orbit within the supernova, without getting too close.

It takes time and finesse. It's an art getting anything into orbit. Too close and the gravitational pull gets too strong, not close enough and you may as well not be moving at all.

Once I have her aligned, I take my sonic screwdriver out of my inner coat pocket and tweak the control panel, setting my sights on a sun. A small sun in comparison with the Earth's sun, but a sun never the less.

I can almost feel the protons defusing themselves. Instead of sticking together, as they are supposed to within the nuclear fusion condensed in a sun, they are being ripped apart. Slowly.

Much like my existence.

I know I will eventually run out of protons to rip apart. I know this sun, this important sun, way out here in the far reaches of space will eventually burn up and die. But I have to try.

"Rose," I whisper her name. "Rooooose"

It's almost like a ghost of a tone. If someone was asleep, they could easily mistake it for a dream.

"Rose"

_Please hear me, Rose_. I think.

"Rose"

_Please._

"Rose"

"Drive away into the night, Rose"

_Come to me._

"Rose" I keep repeating again and again.

_Come on, Rose. Follow my voice._

That's when I can see her. I don't know how long I've been standing there, orbiting around and around calling Rose's name, but I can see her. Through the tiny crack, I can see her. She is standing on a beach it looks like. She looks lost. Oh so very lost.

My hearts clench and unclench in my chest, one at a time and I point my sonic screwdriver at the console of the TARDIS again and I instantly know my image filters through because I can see her. I can see her as if she is really standing right in front of me.

"Where are you?" She asks me.

"Inside the TARDIS" I reply. "There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection; I'm in orbit around a supernova." I continue, trying to clarify for her.

I set a small laugh escape me. It's almost pathetic.

"I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."

_Can't you see, Rose? Can't you see how much you mean to me?_

"You look like a ghost," She informs me with a sad note in her voice.

"Hold on." I point my Sonic at the heart of the TARDIS again, adjusting the perception filter.

I must be coming in clearer because Rose steps closer, like she wants to reach out to me.

"Can I to…." She starts to ask, as if reading my thoughts.

"You can't," I interrupt. "I'm still just an image. No touch."

"Can't you come through properly?" She asks, clearly trying to hold it together.

Selfishly, I hope she does. This is already going to be hard enough without her losing it.

I sigh inwardly. "The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse."

"So?"

I try to contain my smirk. Rose certainly would risk the collapse of two universes if it meant being here on the TARDIS with me.

I look around the beach, as if I was really there. I don't recognize it from anywhere on the real Earth.

"Where are we?" I ask. "Where did the gap come out?"

"We're in Norway," She says.

_Ah. _

"Norway. Right."

"About fifty miles out of Bergen." She continues. "It's called 'Dårlig Ulv Stranden'."

"Dalek?" I question. _Can't be. _

"Dårl-IG." She corrects. "It's Norwegian for 'bad'." She gets a look about her and adds "This translates as 'Bad Wolf Bay'."

We both chuckle half heartedly at this.

_Go figure. _

She's starting to slip on her grasp on her emotions. "How long have we got?" She asks, voice cracking from the strain.

"About two minutes," I tell her. My hearts clench again, one at a time. As if they are trying to strangle me from the inside.

But then she laughs that laugh of hers and they ease up on me.

"I can't think of what to say!"She exclaims.

I laugh lightly too, now that my lungs can expand properly and allow me to breathe.

That's when I see her tiny unit of a family, huddled against the Jeep. Time to change the topic. For now.

"You've still got Mr. Mickey, then?" It comes out as a question as opposed to a statement. I want her to have someone, but I don't want it to be anyone other than me. I know that can't happen.

"There's five of us now. Mum, dad, Mickey... and the baby."

_No. No. No. No._ I swallow hard, taken aback for a tick.

"You're not…?"

She shakes her head, "No" She gives one short laugh. "It's mum."

I laugh shortly too, relief swelling in me unexpectedly.

"She's three months gone." Rose continues. "More Tyler's on the way."

"And what about you? Are you….."

"Yeah, I'm…" She says. "I'm back working in the shop."

I nod "Oh, good for you."

Rose snorts a laugh "Shut up, No, I'm not. There's still a Torchwood on the planet, it's open for business." She draws breath again, struggling to maintain her composure. "I think I know a thing or two about aliens."

I smile at her for a moment. Pride swelling in my chest. "Rose Tyler. Defender of the Earth."

I somber quickly and try changing the topic again."You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead."

This only upsets her and she begins to cry silently to herself. Trying to hold back. My ever brave Rose.

"Here you are," I smile at her. "Living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have."

My attempts at light conversation are over completely now. I can see her strong façade crumble into earnest sobs.

"Am I ever gonna see you again?" She chokes out.

My lips turn down into a frown. I want to hold her. I want to stroke her hair and tell her everything will be okay. That of course she will see me again. But I know it would all be in vain. Is it completely impossible to see each other again? Of course not, if my travels have taught me one thing, it's that nothing is impossible. But I know what Rose needs right now is the cold, hard truth.

"You can't" I tell her sadly.

"What're you gonna do?" She sobs.

"Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords."

"On your own?"

I nod to her as I feel the lump form in my throat. Watching Rose cry like this, knowing I am completely helpless, is one of the worst feelings there is. And I know a lot about bad feelings.

"I lo…" She chokes with tears.

I swallow the lump in my throat. I have to be strong. I have to be strong for Rose.

"I love you" she finally gets out before dissolving into gut wrenching sobs.

"Quite right, too." I practically whisper, trying to gain my voice.

This is it. My chance. Do or die. And that look she has in her eyes. That sadness so deep it eats at my soul just looking at it, but it's also mixed with love and compassion. I have to tell her.

"And I suppose….if it's one last chance to say it…."

_SAY IT! DAMMIT! SAY IT! _My brain screams at me.

"Rose Tyler…."

But it's too late. It's over. Time up. Bam. I missed my chance and I have to swallow the words that I wanted so desperately to say, the words on the tip of my tongue, ready to spill out in heartfelt declaration.

I can't hold the tears threatening to spill any longer. I let them run their warm trail down my cheeks and close my eyes.

_Inhale in._

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

_Exhale out._

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

_Inhale in._


End file.
